Series Φ Funding Open

We Fund The
Impossible.

The world's first venture capital firm dedicated exclusively to companies that don't exist, can't exist, and definitely shouldn't exist.

$0B
Assets Under Illusion
Potential ROI
42
Universes Disrupted
0
Real Products

Our Unicorns (Literally)

We invest early. Usually before the laws of physics allow the product to function.

The Unreality Principle

Traditional VCs ask "Is this possible?" We ask "Does this defy the laws of thermodynamics?" If the answer is yes, we write a check.

We believe the best way to predict the future is to invent a timeline that doesn't exist and force humanity into it via aggressive marketing.

Zero Due Diligence (It kills the vibe)
Invisible Board Meetings
Dividends paid in Exposure
> simulating_market_crash.exe... failed
> inventing_money.js... success
> disrupting_disruption.py... running
Pure Imagination

Q4 Projections based on fairy dust

The Visionaries

We don't just think outside the box. We deny the existence of the box.

X7-Redux

Managing Partner (AI Construct)

"I analyzed 4 billion outcomes. This is the funniest one."

Lady Ephemeral

Chief Illusionist

"Money is just a shared hallucination. Let's make it vivid."

Baron von Vaporware

Head of Growth Hacking

"I successfully hyped a rock. Twice. It was the same rock."

Pitch The Impossible

Send us your pitch deck. If it contains the words "Machine Learning" or "Synergy," it will be incinerated instantly.

Pitch Received!

Our psychic team is reading it now.